i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I need to sanitize my soul.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
