just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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