Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
