My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
