Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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