This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
