I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
