DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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