Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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