We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
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we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
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I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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