We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
