How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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