Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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