At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
