There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Randomize
