operation have a gay friend backfired
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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