His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
