So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize