there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
