I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize