Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
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I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
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