Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
