I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize