Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
