This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
