I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My balls are so social today.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Boobs are out for the taking
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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