If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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