she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
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