You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think I sprained my soul last night
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I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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