I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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