haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
