I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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