You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
