8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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