Duck Duck Cougar?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This is classic penis vs brain.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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