i just had sex bonerless
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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