I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
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I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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