He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
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Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
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Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.