Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!