her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.