i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
this hospital has no fireball
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.