You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.