I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
