he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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