so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
