there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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