When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
