Nicole vs. Life
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
