That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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