why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
