Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
