would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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