yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
