Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
