this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
