i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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