As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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