I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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