you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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