YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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