No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
