Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
